last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was confusing and full of hummus
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
