What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
