ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's rum buckets o'clock
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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