my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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