it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
