Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
