I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
only if we run a train.
done.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
