last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
even my farts smell like vagina
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
