So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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