I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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