She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
