SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
