Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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