do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
