After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
