is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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