What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
