We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
