just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
