She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
