All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
