I accidentally had phone sex last night
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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