Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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