So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
from now on my penis is your penis
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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