i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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