If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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