the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
