who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
