Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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