Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
