we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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