The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
