): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
