Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
