I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
