Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
