When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
