Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
