Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will be naked everywhere
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
