I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize