Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
