I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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