there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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