i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He shit in the fireplace
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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