Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
