Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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