i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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