I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
