how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
