Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
