I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would fuck him just for his dog
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
