when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
