dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I would fuck him just for his dog
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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