I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We are all done wearing pants today
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