I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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