she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize