On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
