hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
