as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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